Till the time your spouse gets you a new partner in your house who will conquer everything ever we owned and earned, we never realize what it is to be a parent.
When my wife was admitted to hospital on labor pain, this was when we both were just 26 years old, my parents asked me stay at home with my younger sister. My sister taunts me when no call from parents at hospital for a while, ‘What kind of a husband you are? She expects you with her not your parents.’
When finally my parents called to intimate that she is admitted to hospital, I was irritated. I wanted to tell them that I am grown up to be a parent and I share a special relationship with her and it’s not just a simple husband-wife relationship under a compulsion to prove a point later to her.
But I could not tell them what I felt and just asked them when could I be in hospital to see her. They being parents still understood my discomfort and asked me to be at hospital by afternoon.
She was in pains intermittently. I am anxious and worried more for her than the gift I was due to have. Finally, on June 13, I was a parent, a father.
A song best describes when I drive back home everyday , “Gaddian ne der na kareen, saadhi jindaahdi udeeke saahnu…”. ( my bike do not delay me, my life awaits me at home).
I am tired when I step in. I want to be smiling but then there’s a lag in it. I switch my life from dependence on brains to heart and then try best to give a patient hearing to what my angels tell me- my spouse, my daughters.
I am heart broken when they try to put up a smiling face, reveal all is well even when few things did not go the way they expected in their lives for the day. I realise I am a parent and have to be double sure before uttering words that comfort them, make them smile and relax.
I miss them and miss them badly when not around. I am learning to be a parent and hope to be so before it’s too late.