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  • Writer's pictureJaspal Kahlon

How is it to be middle-aged?

At 42 and fast approaching 43, I feel running out of time. My body is changing fast. The metabolism has slowed down considerably. I need to exercise a lot harder to be in shape. I have been adding a kilogram to my weight with every passing year since I turned 40. Bordering on being termed Obese as per BMI, I am getting conscious about my looks.

I was a shy kid and had long hair. Born in a Sikh family, my mother combed and twisted my hair, akin to a rope, tying them as a knot in the center of my head. Then she wrapped a scarf around my head, covering my head full with the last knot of the scarf around my Juda. I looked at the mirror after my hairdo, checking whether the knot is in the center of my head. My mother laughed and, at times, got irritated when I asked her to redo the knot. I was also conscious about large ears peeping out from sides of my head. A pointed nose, broad forehead, and long slim face made my ears look even more prominent. It took a decade post attaining puberty to forget about my ears. I had got my hair cut, and now I was styling my short hair by combing them straight backwards.

Those days of shyness are back and this time with the paunch that seems too visible when turned sideways. I turn right and then left, sideways in front of my mirror, just like a young woman gazing at herself in the mirror. I continue to loose a few millimeters of hair from the forehead s and I am certain to look like an elder version of Supandi in couple of years. My waist is 36 inches when measured around naval though I cheat on myself to measure the width lower around hips where it is a couple of inches lesser. Tight fitting jeans do not suit me anymore both from the style and personal comfort perspective. Forget tight jeans, I have transitioned to boxers briefs from briefs. And may soon prefer boxers in summers over boxer briefs. Strangely, the comfort has a new perspective altogether for me. With risk of untimely erection fading, boxers seem to be the right choice showcasing mysef to be in control of activity between my legs.

I am still attracted to opposite gender but with a difference. In my youth, I believed every female was different and had something unique which I was curious to know about. Today though, I do not see any difference in them. Most seem to react, tempt, think, talk, and react in the same way. I can enjoy the company of female friends but with no expectations. When it comes to being in bed, I am inclined to, but selectively unlike in my younger days.

I am termed cool by my younger colleagues at work. My family thinks me to be thoughtful and balanced. But deep inside in my heart, I am in flux. My feelings are as restless, infact even more than in my teenage years. Yes, I am middle-aged and trying hard to accept the fact.

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चंडीगढ़ आने के बाद कुछ चीजें मैं जैसे भूल ही गया हूँ। मुझे इसका एहसास चंडीगढ़ से बाहर जाने के बाद होता है। पिछले हफ़्ते मैं श्रीनगर गया। पहली बार मैंने एक बाइक किराए पर लेकर घूमने का फ़ैसला किया। मैं

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