I have always been intrigued by the utterance of the word ‘Sorry’. Why do we say it? Do we mean it? Does it mean different things at different situations?
‘I Apologize’ is also a statement but used more in a formal context. I have rarely heard my friends and relations saying this. Even I never said ‘I Apologize’ till date. I have, though, heard Heads of States apologize.
Before I continue to use the word ‘Sorry’, I intend to pen down my feelings on the word ‘Sorry’ and statement ‘…..I am sorry’ before continuing to use it in future.
Google throws up a very interesting table that differentiates between ‘Sorry’ and ‘Apology’. I embed the same here for a quick reference.
Few days back my status update was “Sorry! , from me, flows quite candidly almost instantaneously . I doubt if I really mean it.”
Despite the fact that ‘Sorry’ has a more informal usage in our lives, we should negate the English language difference of it from ‘I Apologize’. Anyone who says (or even utters) ‘Sorry’ should be given the benefit of doubt that he/she truly means it. But does it really mean deserves a logical (devoid of any emotional bias) scrutiny within our hearts…
1. Does it mean forget the past and move on?
2. In continuation of 1) above, does it mean “I hope you are well prepared to deal with ‘nuance’ the next time and not feel bad the way you felt this time.”?
3. Does it mean?- “That’s the way I am, but I say sorry since you felt bad and not particularly about the act itself. I continue to believe what I did was right?”
4. Does it mean?- “Let’s move on in our own respective directions. I said ‘Sorry’ to ward off any retaliation from you that I may be unprepared for.”
5. Is it uttered purely as a display of etiquette? For instance, we deliberately push open the door despite knowing the fact that it may hurt someone but then immediately say ‘Sorry’ with a smile which is usually a fake one. (I say this since I believe we need to learn to be inherently happy…always. That’s a topic to deal with in a separate blog
While above is a probable listing of the thinking who says ‘Sorry’, the recipient may interpret it differently:
1. Why he/she said ‘Sorry’? – “You demeaned me. I say ‘ok’ but not spare any opportunity to return the favor in immediate future.”
2. “You never meant it. You will continue to act the way you did in past. Its better I am prepared to give it a pass it future as well.”
3. “I ignore any of your reaction(s) followed with confession(s) of regret. Never mind, I am with you for a much deeper and meaningful purpose.”
4. “I am overwhelmed by your gesture and will ensure to be more accommodating in future. I will try my best not to let you say ‘Sorry’ in future. I will be too good to you.”
My attempt here is not to undermine the usage of ‘Sorry’ but to sensitize that its usage is more restricted and purposeful. We should consider ourselves fortunate to have a friend, an associate who is always there irrespective of use of the word ‘Sorry’….
…but what about the expectations!