LESSON ON CONNECTING
I woke-up today at 5:15 am requesting my wife (Monica) to help me with a cup of tea. We had tea sitting next to each other in the living room of our rented accommodation. It was dark inside since we had not put-on the lights and daylight outside was dim enough to enter through gaps in curtains covering large French windows behind us. [The gaps between the curtains being analogous to chasm in our lives in the age of Facebook.]
We started our talk amidst the busy days we lived here in Delhi. This talk was not about daily chores and allocation of daily tasks to each other. It was about the chore of our life- CONNECTING. Monica went onto narrate her conversation with Neera aunty, the day before on phone.
Monica knows Neera aunty since she was a kid. Neera aunty is free-thinking, frank, bold lady and loved by a great gentleman- her husband (Goyal Uncle). Goyal uncle is an excellent personality, never demanding on his life partner, worked hard through his life to run his manufacturing unit. His dexterity to handle the frankness and outspoken nature of Neera aunty amongst his friend circle who, at times, use to get offended due to remarks of Neera aunty.
In last 15 years of knowing them, I never saw Goyal uncle embarrassed by any remarks (rude or any other) of Neera aunty passed amongst his friend circle. The independence, importance and respect he showed towards Neera aunty is to be taken note of by other men. If he sensed some over reaction, he just use to say, “Neera!”, not in anger but a strong tone. Neera aunty in an instant, use to withdraw acknowledging the love Goyal uncle had for her- such is the compatibility when they connected with the world.
Monica continued, “Neera aunty was expecting us to visit them in Chandigarh and stay with them for a night.” Monica finished her tea and walked to kitchen continuing to talk. I said, “You have been able to build some relations in life that are good and deep and without any pressure to sustain them. They are just sustaining with least efforts and yet getting deep with every passing minute.”
Monica said, “You know if I connect, its from heart.” “You have the art of knowing people”, I remarked. “Whoever you feel you are close to in office, please invite them home. We should cook for them and connect with them. We should know them and be close to them”, she said.
I narrated my attempts (irritating one at times) to influence my colleagues (not all are friends) to do things they love in life. I shared with Monica how, I, most of the times centered-around the importance of fitness, good eating habits, the need to pursue what they like – writing a blog, poetry etc.
The comfort and compatibility, I enjoyed with some of my colleagues was shared with Monica. She listened attentively and appreciated. I also shared the complaint one of my colleague had with me- when I was not in attendance to share grief of losing her father.
Monica now wants to extend herself to connect with them for accepting me the way I am.