Never until today did I realize that I had an ‘EGO’ so big it even surprised me. Yes, mind the caps—‘ego’ is enormous. I’ve either defended it or hidden it from others, but today, it stands exposed before me.
I hate my ego. She—sorry, no gender bias here, but ‘she’ just feels right—was clever enough to disguise herself as rationality. She deceives my mind, and my mind, in turn, adores her. She leads my mind into a zone where I become fault-free, adamant, arrogant, and guilt-free.
Thanks to meditation—or perhaps it’s just a realization, whether from meditation or some other source—that knowing your mind and its thinking patterns is crucial. Being aware of how my mind might react in a given situation has helped me manage it better.
Even being able to control my mind 10% of the time feels like a significant achievement, one I hadn’t grasped until I turned 48.
I wish my younger self had known this.
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