Completed 43 years today
Today is my birthday, and it is Sunday as well. I am saved from the embarrassment of acknowledging the wishes from colleagues at work and the emotion-free demand for a treat from most of them. After I quit Facebook almost a year back; though I have been in and out of Facebook for nearly two years now, the count of wishes are minuscule. The alienation from Facebook gives me peace of mind.
Years before my presence on Facebook, I use to feel lonely, longing for special attention on my birthdays. And when I got the attention on special days like birthday and anniversary via networking platforms, I preferred ignoring and long for the solitude.
Number 43 gives me feelings of desperation. I am yet to do so much more, and aging may not help me. I have responsibilities towards my kids, spouse, and parents. But a greater responsibility is to my dreams and aspirations that are waiting at the door for first signs of a willful effort by me. I am not taking actions to make my dreams a reality.
I am in a comfort zone, talking about my unactioned dreams but lacking the initiative to make it happen. This habit has not changed in me. I was the same in the 30s and continue to be so in 40s as well.
I do have a justification about thinking and talking but not doing much. I get absorbed in my job and daily life hoping that my indulgence is a necessary step to fulfill what is missing.
Anyways it’s my birthday today and no serious thoughts please.