It often feels as if I’m being tested by someone or something. At least, that’s what my mind seems to think. Even trivial issues can put my patience, politeness, and resilience to the test.
These situations typically arise with family members or colleagues—people whom I believe have some claim over me or vice versa.
Every unexpected response or comment triggers a whirlwind of thoughts and self-reflection.
Often, my initial reaction is impulsive. I find myself wondering, “Did they really not understand me? Are they ignoring my perspective deliberately?” These questions race through my mind, making me feel disgusted and sometimes urging me to dig deeper.
Though rare, these moments of internal dialogue become more frequent as I age. I talk to my mind to calm the inner storm, reminding myself, “Don’t react, be accommodating, give the benefit of the doubt, ignore, move on, don’t complain, let it go. Am I perfect? No.” These mantras help stabilize my emotions, though their effectiveness largely depends on my current mental state.
When I’m overwhelmed, these internal conversations don’t always bring me peace or calmness.
During such times, distractions work for me—whether it’s enjoying a beer, looking through photos of happier times, or planning my next escape to the hills. These activities offer a brief respite from the chaos of my thoughts.
If a single event triggers me, I may turn to meditation, listen to soothing mantras, or reflect on the teachings of Osho. However, when I am already overwhelmed and a new unpleasant situation arises, I find myself getting angry, argumentative, and upset.
My approach to managing stress is never fixed; it’s situational.
I’m happy, at least, that I am talking to my mind, which was unlikely when I was in my prime, i.e., my thirties. :)