I have been wondering what could be the most effective way to engage with your soon-to-be-adult daughter. Preaching does not work. She has so little attention span for preaching and advice. No advise from any book on parenting seems to be working for us. This however, may point to the fact that we being time-starved choose to find quick-fix solution. As a result, we may have not stuck to particular style or method of parenting.
Unlike my wife who is constantly talking to her and trying to direct her approach towards life and the world around in a more mature or to say a more career-sensitive way, I instead choose to have scratchy interactions. This has not produced better results than what my wife has been attempting persistently. Ofcourse, it could also be reasoned that I attempt to exploit the limited time that I spare for her and forgeting about reinforcing my point in several later moments of interaction.
My only defense, logically, is that I may have inherently believed that ‘experience’ is the most effective way of learning. For instance, I remember so little about anything that my parents advised me on while remember the first ride on a bike all alone.
But finally, I have started sending emails to my daughter keeping Wife in cc. I ask a question or two daily that prompts my daughter to read and gain insights into unfamiliar topics. She has to reply in writing. My wife ensures she reads up before replying. The mail trail will likely be a ready reference in future. This is likely to be less intrusive and a more structured way to influence the learning process.