For a couple of weeks until recently, I was tense, worried, anxious, unsure about so many things. I lacked the energy, the enthusiasm to do anything. No problems with sleep, though. I lay in bed as if ill, even without symptoms of bloatedness.
How did I come out of it? No idea. One thing I did realize was that when I was at work, busy talking to my colleagues, the entire feeling faded.
My mind jumped to another thought: what if it’s the vaccination’s effect? I think it’s the impact of Covishield vaccination. Isn’t it a fact that I never regained my energy levels for exercising regularly since I got vaccinated?
Or was it fear creeping in? Maybe a combination of both the vaccination and fear, clubbed together with me turning 50 in a couple of years. My mind wandered again.
I critiqued myself for being stupid and lacking any control. I tried meditation and listening to mantras too. Not sure what worked for me.
Some reasons or info that my mind kept circling back to were:
a. The vaccination impact.
b. The creeping fear.
c. Both a and b, plus turning 50.
d. I was listening to my mind too much instead of giving it instructions.
e. Lack of exercise due to extended recovery from the femur bone surgery. I am not jogging or doing anything my body is used to for decades.
f. Finding a short-term purpose. Like, let me gain strength in my leg to be ready for my bike trip to Ladakh.
Enough of you, I told my mind. I’m heading on my bike trip and you do what I say.
Pretty late in life, but I have stopped taking my
mind seriously. Most of the time, it’s biased, confused, overwhelmed with past memories, present perceptions, and future expectations.
Since last week, I am back to my carefree, focused, and balanced mind and body.
留言